Aside from the typical, much addressed, difficulty of teaching to the individual student and working so hard to make sure that no one slips through the cracks, my most difficult challenge in teaching played out in my classroom today.
Since this is such a difficult part of teaching for me, I tend to be very very careful never to put myself (as a teacher) in this situation; sometimes, however, it cannot be avoided...
The number one most dangerous place a teacher can put herself in is... a power struggle.
I don't mean to shout out my qualities as a teacher, but I will state that I run a very well run classroom, I never ever have a problem (anymore) with classroom control, and my students are trained in, from the first day of school, to follow classroom rules, to accept the teacher as authority, and to follow certain classroom routines. They know good and well what I expect of them.
Just to give an example - I teach a low elementary grade, little girls. At this point in the year, I am able to leave my classroom for a few minutes and when I return my students will 99% of the time be doing what I left them doing. Rarely, if ever, will I come back to a class that is jumping off the walls.
These are things that help eliminate a possible power struggle before it even begins to arise.
BUT. Today was different.
Upon returning to the classroom after our morning recess, Leah* and Malky* both came to my desk and showed me a note that was scrawled on in a child's messy handwriting.
It read: "Leah is a maniac."
Malky, in her everlasting loyalty to her friend, solemnly told me
"Chanie did it."
Chanie vehemently denied the action saying
"I would never do such a thing!"
In fact, not only did Chanie deny writing the note, but so did every other one of my 26 students. They denied it so strongly that it seems to me that the note blew in from the window.
Picture this- twenty-six pairs of eyes staring at Morah. One of which is terribly hurt because she now knows that someone in the classroom hates her. I have no idea who wrote the note. They are all waiting to see what I am going to do.
On the one hand, I should leave the situation right now. If I probe further and am not successful in finding the culprit, I have entered a power struggle and lost. The absolute worst situation I can put myself in.
On the other hand, If I back out now, I will have one very upset student who will most probably hold a grudge against the accused (Chanie) whether or not Chanie actually wrote the letter. Knowing my class and knowing Leah in particular, I know that this grudge will not remain a grudge, it will turn into a fight at best and a full fledged classroom war at worst.
Neither situation is ideal, and neither situation is one that I would like to deal with in school. Both situations will involve me spending a good few hours on the phone with numerous parents, breaking up fights, etc. Sigh. It gives me headache to think about it.
What would you do?
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5 comments:
Youch. I honestly don't know what I would do in this sitch. Maybe I'd give the class a speech about bein adam lchaveiro and not writing or saying hurtful things. I really don't know what I'd do but I'd love to hear what you did!
You do have the following possibility--not ideal but effective. Have every girl in the class take out a piece of paper, including the two "not guilty" parties. Have them write 6 times "is a maniac." If need be tell them that this will help to release the inside anger they feel about what was written.
Compare the class writing to the note that was received. Children that young cannot successfully disguise their handwriting, certainly not over six repetitions. "S" "M" and vowels are usually distinctive in someone's handwriting. You might get lucky and find the match.
I think i would just announce that if this happened to anybody else, they would feel very bad, too, and that girl would be a very big mentch if she would come up to you, in private, and admit what she did. I doubt anyone would admit it, so if they don't, i would just have a private conversation with Leah or Chanie, or both, and explain to them thye need to be dan lkaf zchus. But then, I don't know these students, and I can imagine this might not work with certain personalities.
Slightly related to Professor K's suggestion:
Ask each student to write:
"Leah is Not a maniac"
and explain that this exercise is intended to help Leah feel better.
I would probably give a vague but very severe warning to the whole class, and leave it at that (something along the lines of "this better not happen again" or "when I find out who did this, there will be BIG trouble!" while making scary-teacher-eyes at the kiddos.) This is just for the sake of scaring off the other kids, who might be getting bright ideas.
Then, privately, I'd take up the issue with the kid who was hurt -- reassure her that the note was a mean lie, that you for one know she is not a maniac and make sure she knows the same, and how sad it is that someone would write such a thing. It doesn't quite take away the hurt, but your vote of confidence is really meaningful to a kid, especially the little ones. Even my kids, who are very tough adolescents with low self-esteem, start to believe me a little. Of course, you have to say it very assertively, radiating confidence.
I might also talk to "Chanie" privately -- give her an opportunity for confession that she can't refuse. Of course, I'd begin by letting her know that I trust her either way -- If she says she didn't do it, I will believe her and that's that. You run the risk of her abusing your trust, but I feel that it's worth it. It won't work if a confession will get her into worse trouble, so you have to make it a very attractive deal -- you, of course, won't tell anyone, and all she has to do is write an apology (can be anono) and never do it again, let's say.
If you think it's necessary, you could follow up with a lesson (completely unrelated, hamayvin yavin) about onaas dvarim or bullying or whatever what she did is called.
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