Tuesday, November 27, 2007

To My Dear Friend

To my dearest friend. One year ago today the world turned upside down. I have no words to express my emotions and I cannot possibly write here how I really feel. Just remember, that though I can never take away your pain, I hurt when you hurt and I am always here for you. I admire you in so many ways, keep strong and keep smiling, your father is proud of you today.

This is probably the most beautiful amateur work I have seen or heard in a long while.

There are nicer voices in the world but the emotion and background that came together with this song cannot be compared to that of even the greatest singer.


L'iluy Nishmas HaRav Chaim Shneur Zalman ben HaRav Meir Zichrono Livracha

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The Story

I promised details and I'm going to give them, but I'm not sure what details to give...

Before I got engaged, before I even went out with this boy I never liked hearing these stories, I always thought, well yeah that's NOT gonna happen to me. Let me explain.

My chosson's name (I gotta think of a blog name for him - I'm not into the 'my chosson' 'my chosson' 'my chosson' he has a name for goodness sakes) anyway his name came up for me a while back, before the summer actually and I adamantly refused to go out with him. In fact, I was upset and offended that people were pushing it. His upbringing was different than mine, his education was different, his family minhagim were different, and to top it all off he comes from a broken home. One of the things that bothered me greatly was the broken home part - his parents divorced when he was very very young and he basically grew up in a single parent home, not much of a father figure around ever. That really bothered me, I mean who wants to go out with a boy who grew up without a father figure??

Anyway his name came up again right after the yomim tovim but this time it was different. This time he was given my references, and he was looked into for me (and btw I still despise the shidduch system even though I'm past it) without my knowledge. One Friday afternoon I was told so and so is ready to go out with you we just have to call in dor yesharim and you have to give and answer before shabbos. There I put my foot down, I refused to give an answer before shabbos insisting that I be given time to think.

Let me back track a bit. The first time the name came up it was through a shadchan who didn't necessarily know either of us. The second time it came up was interesting. Husbands of three different friends of mine suggested it at three separate times. Anyway, that Shabbos I sat with a very close friend and her husband and talked for about three hours until they finally convinced me to go out at least once. "If he's repulsive you can forget it ever happened but we promise you he's not repulsive" was the end of that conversation.

More later!!

Friday, November 16, 2007

MAZEL TOV!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, yes I am a kallah. It's crazy, it's really crazy. I have so much to tell you guys, hopefully I'll have a minute after shabbos to give you the whole scoop!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Busier than I have Time to Comprehend

Haven't posted here in a while but don't worry I didn't forget about you guys! I'll keep you posted sometime really soon :).

Sunday, November 4, 2007


I don't even know how to put in words. I just wish that people knew, realized, and understood the ill effects of outside pressure when dating. I wish people realized that life is NOT a romance novel; that starry eyed infatuation is not going to come after 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, or even 10 dates. I wish people took a step back and let the dating couple make their own, clear headed, thought out, decisions. I wish coming back from each date wasn't met with people smiling expectantly. I wish people realized that when the decision is no - it's MY life, MY dissapointment, and most importantly - if he said no, than he wasn't for me.

The pressure that outsiders (or insiders) put on young men and women in the dating scene can be so heavy it is often unbearable. Is it not enough that a girl has to think four hundred times before she walks out of the house lest she ruin the next prospective match? Is it not enough that the pressure of 'being in the parsha' lays heavy on our shoulders every single day of our lives? Don't people realize how important a clear headed decision is when dating? Don't people realize that this isn't about making someone else (other than the boy and girl themselves) happy, nor is it about planning one night? Do people not realize that making a life decision has to be RATIONAL - not "If you can't overlook some chesronos then you'll never get married." What if he is simply NOT for me??

Sigh. So many disasters can be prevented if people would only think before they start putting pressure on an emotionally stressed, nervous, busy, dating girl.

A wise man once told me:
When you are looking into a boy think of him as if he's the ONLY person who is willing to date you. Do NOT compare him to anyone, when calling around about him look for his highest qualities. Once you agree to go out, however, you should enter each date with this thought: "There are 500 hundered boys chasing me down the street, is this the one I am going to choose."