Sunday, March 15, 2009

Catching Up

I once had an employer who told me about a friend of hers who got married when she was 26 or 27. In my employers words:
"How long does the race matter for anyway, now she's 40 and she has 9 kids, I would say she caught up"

Aidel's post a while ago and Bad4's recent post inspired some thinking on my part. When does the race end? Does it matter that many of my friends are still a stage ahead of me?

I missed the bris of a close friend's 2nd baby because I went into labor that morning. I gave birth to my first baby 24 hours after a friend gave birth to her second - same doctor, same hospital... Just to name a few...

When I was finally engaged they had moved on from talking about sheitels and supper menus to talking about doctors and doulas. When I was finally married they moved on to talk about strollers brands and diaper companies. When I was pregnant they were talking about sleeping through the night and dealing with overturned garbage cans. I can join a lot of conversations by now. I can tell you about 30 million different strollers that I looked into, which baby swing I chose, nursing woes and dreaming about sleeping through the night. But guess what - I can't yet join the conversations about double strollers, about sibling rivalry, about playgroups, potty training and about where in my 1 bedroom apartment to stick my 2 year old's crib.

But seriously during a 3 am feeding, or while I'm stripping my linens and cleaning out the aftermath of a diaper leak, or when my baby opens her eyes wide and makes her mouth into a perfect little o shape, or when she snuggles up agaist my chest falls fast asleep so peacefully, or even when she cries and cries for no apparant reason it really does not matter if I'm one or two or ten stages behind my friends, I am where I am and I'm happy with my life.


nmf #7 said...

You're not 'behind'- you're ahead. You are blessed with true happiness. Sometimes I feel the same way- there are those my age who are having their second child, and are past my stage of number 1. But, I look at what I have, and then I see I have happiness. So that makes me ahead.

corner point said...

I second NMF.

You are truly blessed. Never mind what they're up to--you're in the perfect spot for you.


Anonymous said...

True to the comments above, but also just to put things in perspective: I'm over thirty and still single; I do (mostly) believe the right one will come along when the time is right, but there's a huge difference between having a first baby (which I also hope for soon, I"YH) when some of my friends may be getting ready to be thinking of bar mitzvahs and that of having one child while your friends are up to their second.
Just sayin'....